NOT RECOMMENDED

Welcome to my list of things I don't recommend!

• I do not recommend rubbing your eyes after cutting jalapenos.  (Oct 2018  Self explanatory.)

• I do not recommend running 20 miles on the Bloomington Roundabout.  (Dec 2017  A friend and I ran 20 miles on the Bloomington roundabout, what we did not consider is how dangerous the traffic was and how slanted the sidewalk is.)

• I do not recommend going through Hop Valley in the dark.  (2017-  Zion Traverse.  Only having done the trail once before, I wasn't as familiar with the trail as I wanted to be.  I started the Hop Valley section at sunset and darkness came too fast.  The trail is faint in a lot of places and there are multiple river crossings, not to mention the glowing cow eyes everywhere that look exactly like giant bears.  I do not recommend this.)

• I do not recommend starving yourself the day before race day.  (2017-  Bryce Canyon 50M.  The day before the race was so stressful that I didn't eat a Thing until 8pm that night.  I do not recommend this.)

• I do not recommend doing a "worst case scenario" training run while trying to recover from your last Ultra, but only a week before your next Ultra.  (2017-  While recovering from a recent 50-mile race I decided to sign up for a 100K race.  Without full strength or speed I set out on a 20 mile run in the wind and cold with a full hydration pack filled to the max with water.  It had rained the day before and parts of the trail were muddy.  I didn't put any electrolytes in my water, nor did I pack any food other than 3 beef sticks.  I do not recommend this.)

• I do not recommend eating old slim-jims ... that have been washed at least once in the washing machine.  (2017 - During the same experience as mentioned in the non-recommendation before this one, before I started my run I found an unwrapped Slim-Jim in my pack from my previous race 3 weeks earlier.  I had also washed my pack once, but probably twice since then.  Knowing these details, but also knowing my love for slim-jims I took a bite.  I had to spit it out as fast as I bit into it.  I do not recommend this.)

• I do not recommend buying, eating, or even looking at "Ostrim" (2016 - One day whilst shopping, I saw in a clearance cart a bunch of what I assumed were beef jerky sticks.  At a wonderful clearance deal I bought a dozen or so of the Ostrim sticks (never questioning the name brand).  Fast forward to my next adventure, the self-supported Zion Traverse.  I packed all my Ostrims for fuel.  Things went well and I had eaten a handful of them.  It wasn't until overlooking the views on the West Rim trail did I take a look at the ingredients...it was made from ostriches!!!  Gagging and trying to keep a full stomach of ostrich trimmings inside me the next few miles was not fun!  To this day, when I see an ostrich or an Ostrim stick I start gagging.  This was definitely a mistake I wish I could have learned through someone elses experience, unfortunately I only had myself to blame.  I do not recommend this)